My sweet daughter, Queen2, is at least starting to be honest and truthful with us. On Wednesday, she drops another bombshell that not only does she have a misdemeanor citation for drug paraphernalia, but that she also has a misdemeanor citation for shoplifting. Shoplifting for sweaters? I ask why, why, why??? Oh, and that she was to go to court on Friday (yesterday for book and release). Not a lot of time to get that taken care of, but because I have friends and a good reputation in my line of work, I found a criminal attorney -- one of the best in Tennessee, I might add -- to get her shoplifting case postponed to the same date as her drug paraphernalia date.
Then it occurred to me that one of my friends since 4th grade was married to a criminal attorney. Call in a favor? I did. He immediately agreed to help Queen2 and charge us nothing. Zilch. That's a good friend. The first attorney I spoke with cut his fees in half for us, $7500 for both cases. How can a drug addict pay that? I refuse to pay it for her. I'm footing the bill for rehab. So thank God for this friend and her husband who will be helping with her case.
My requirements for Queen2 are 1) Rehab. Appointment on Tuesday for assessment. 2) Supervised probation, so she has to be accountable to someone besides me and her dad. 3) Community service, if possible working with drug addicts. 4) Honesty and truthfulness from here on out.
Every day there is a new truth unveiled. Last night she tells me she is still using because she is afraid of the withdrawals. I've done a crash course on withdrawing from Oxycontin and it's not pretty nor a pleasant process. I hate it for her, but have no pity. Maybe going through the horrors of withdrawal on her own would be a good experience. Guess we will know more when we go for her assessment next week. Maybe they will put her in a detox program for a few days.
As her parents, we are not mad anymore. We are hurt and disappointed. Our daughter is a beautiful and smart girl. She has been an extra in several movies and a stand-in for an award winning actress. Think Alice in Wonderland. She has a career planned in the medical field. But as she has been told, who would want their nurse to be hooked on a drug that controls them or might steal their pills? With an addict, you just never know what will prompt them to do wrong.
I am worried about her. I love her. I want to help her, but I cannot fix this. It's hard being a Mom and watching your kids suffer. Heck, I thought acne was a problem. That I could fix with the help of a dermatologist. When she was getting Xanax through a walk-in clinic, I reported the doctor because he was giving scripts to many of her friends. I tried to fix that.
Addiction is prevalent in our families. My father was an alcoholic. A bad one. I smoke cigarettes, addicted. Mr. Honey's father was an alcoholic. Mr. Honey smokes cigarettes. That is our worst addiction, but addiction it is. It's hard to quit, especially as you get older and know that you are going to die from that addiction if you don't stop. Mr. Honey takes Tramadol for back pain. I did not know this, but that drug is just as addicting as Oxycontin. Now when he doesn't take one, he has these aches and pains that are signs of withdrawal. Who the hell knew?
Getting old isn't for sissies. I've heard that time and time again, and now see what is really meant by that. I blame doctors for a lot of the drug addiction in our society. Pain management gets people hooked. So many younger people, ages 20-30, are on Ambien, Xanax, Klonopin, antidepressants. It seems it is very easy to get these drugs as the majority of doctors are more than eager to prescribe these drugs. "Take this and call me in six weeks." I had a nephew-in-law that committed suicide. He left behind two of the best kids to deal with his suicide. I am sure there were other reasons besides depression, but he wasn't followed up properly when given his antidepressant. People lie to their doctors all the time. I see that crap in my jobs. I see and hear people who take these medications because they are in pain, and now addicted to the drugs given for the pain.
When I was in my 20s, I don't remember any of my friends being prescribed antidepressants. Sure, we smoked a little weed. At the time, you could smoke weed and cigarettes in concerts. Burn that Bic for an encore! Laws and the times are different now. There comes a time in your life when you have to move forward away from those things to become an adult and hold a decent job. "Back in the day" there was no drug screening, per se, for jobs. Nowadays you can't get a job in some occupations without being screened for drugs.
I feel sorry for the youth of today. I really feel it for my son, The Boy, who is 15. What is life going to be like for him in 10 years? So much has changed in our world and society. How do we keep them on the straight and narrow?
I've run out of words. Thank you all for your support and kind words.
It sounds like the whole shoplifting thing was a cry for help. It was for me at least when I got caught up for shoplifting when I was 13. (Hypothetically speaking, of course, future employers.)
ReplyDeleteI think you're doing the right thing, and it looks like things might work out. This could be her wake-up call and a turning point for her.
Doctors these days are so quick to write out prescriptions for powerful painkillers and brain chemical-altering drugs. And then not manage them after people are on them, like you said!
I've suffered from anxiety since I was in fifth grade and the medicines they put me on when I was 16 made things turn for the worse, actually.
Benzos such as Xanax and Klonapin actually caused severe depression for me, so instead of being just anxious, I became a depressive mess for several years until I weaned myself off everything.
If I knew then what I know now and that there are so many natural alternatives, including herbal supplements and aromatherapy (patchouli and lavender for me) I might have gone that route and saved myself a lot of heartache.
I wonder if natural medicine could help her get through the withdrawls, like acupuncture, teas, herbs, etc. Sorry to go all hippie on you there. Be blessed!