So, my daughter, the addict has been back in rehab due to a relapse. (See previous post) She spent 2 weeks in inpatient, then was moved to partial hospitalization. When she first started, the therapist was singing her praises, that she was doing great in her groups and being a leader, positive attitude and helping others.
Then the last two weeks all she has done is complain about being there. Doesn't think she needs to remain there and wants to go back into a halfway house. Get a call from the therapist yesterday that she is now being disruptive, skipping groups, trying to encourage others to skip group.
An hour later we get a call that she has gone AWOL from the facility. Left with a guy who is also in treatment for drugs. She left the facility at 12 and returned at 5. I'm sure the only reason she returned was to collect her belongings. She told one of the techs that she and this guy had been drinking. They did a breathalyzer on her and she blew a .55. That's pretty high, so I am told. They tried to do an intervention, but she was adamant that she didn't want to stay there.
We've told her as long as she is in treatment and doing well, we would support her and help her out money-wise to a degree. Then we get another call from her case manager yesterday (after she blew the .55 and refused intervention) who says they can't keep her there, too disruptive, and they will be working on her discharge today.
Where will she go? I don't know. Her dad and I had told her that if she completed treatment we'd get her into yet another halfway house. But with this incident yesterday of going out and getting drunk, there's no way we can help her with money. We have no faith in her, no trust. And sad as it seems, we do not want her to come home and live with us. We don't want her addiction around us. At this point that pretty much leaves only a homeless shelter. Do any of you reading this know how hard it is to let your kid go to a homeless shelter? SO HARD TO EVEN CONSIDER. Yet, that is what I am dealing with this morning, and the same thoughts that woke me up 3 times last night.
I'm scared for her and my heart is beyond breaking. I've detached with love, but a mother's worry never stops. I did read an excellent book last week. It's called The Lost Years. A book about a mother and daughter's experience with addition, detachment and recovery. I highly recommend it to anyone who has an addict in the family.
I'm dreading that call today to set up her discharge and telling her that we can no longer help her. I may waver and give in. I don't know what I am going to say and do at this very moment.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
It's been a while
It's been a while. So much has been going on with Queen2B. To sum it up, she completed her treatment in rehab, went on to live in a sober living facility. Sadly, she relapsed three weeks after moving into sober living facility. (SLF) She had a really bad relapse, one week on the street with a fellow user, that she met in rehab, then into a detox for a week, kicked out of there for having drugs on her, back on the street for a week.
At that point, calling and asking for more money. (When she started asking us to send her money Western Union, we had a clue she was using). As hard as it was, I had to tell her not to contact me again until she got back into treatment. Two days went by and she called and agreed to go back into inpatient rehab. I made arrangements for her to get a ride. Ironically, the treatment center sent a limo to pick her up from the crack house she was staying in. I don't know that it was a "crack house", but a hotel where a lot of users rent for cheap.
In July Queenie & I went to visit her in rehab and we did an intensive family therapy weekend. I learned a lot about letting go and to stop trying to help her. I've been doing really well with that, but it is sad at the same time as it is freeing.
I've been so wrapped up with Q2B and her problems, I haven't mentioned that I will be having hand surgery in November. I have some crazy ass disease called Kienbock's. The bone in my right wrist has deteriorated. The surgery is a proximal row carpectomy. Yes there is a video of the surgery on YouTube, and it's nasty looking. Not a good problem for a court reporter to have.
But the surgeon assures me I can go back to work. I guess that's good and bad :) I'm so ready to retire from this job.
The Boy got his driver's license. He's pretty much taken over my car. We plan to give it to him, just putting off getting something new for myself. Now with the surgery, it might be a little longer than anticipated. Not sure what I want. Another Honda? Suggestions? For business purposes, I think I am going to go for a lease this time around.
Thanks for checking in.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
The story goes on and on and on
Some of my family members say I am obsessed with my drug addicted daughter, Queen2b. Maybe I am, but I love her, and it is so hard to see one of your children going down a drug-addicted road. I get so annoyed at doctors who readily and willing prescribe Xanax, Klonopin, Adderall, and other drugs that are not always needed. Many doctors see so many patients a day, that they don't really listen to the patients, just bring out the old pen and prescription pad and come back in 30 days for review and refill.
The last time I wrote, Q2B had gone to court on one of her many misdemeanor citations. Things looked good. Then one night she brought one a "friend from rehab". We had specifically told her no friends of hers were allowed in our home. Just coming by for a minute, Mom. This is a girl she had been in outpatient with. (Q2Bnever completed outpatient, supposedly because the counselor was buying pot from a boy in her group that she counseled. This counselor took a very liberal attitude towards pot. Obviously. I tried to report it, but it's my word and Q2B's word, a drug addict, against a paid counselor.)
Mom went to bed and the next thing we know is the family is awakened at 2 a.m. to an all-out cat fight going on in Q2B's bedroom. Both girls had awakened in a drug-induced stupor, accusing the other of stealing Xanax and pot. It was too much. We kicked Q2b out. We changed the locks on our doors and she was forbidden to come inside our home. For a week she claimed to live in her car. Some of her "friends" let me know what was going on with her, and that was she was rapidly declining.
So being a good mom, and even better enabler, I arranged for her an apartment for 2.5 months. Enough time for her to get a job, start over and get back into rehab, whatever she needed to do to get clean. Keeping in mind she has misdemeanor citations over her head and if convicted of three, that's a felony. We used money that belonged to her from a car accident. And no, she didn't get addicted to opiates from an accident. She got addicted from buying them on the street and because she was/is good at manipulating doctors and convincing others that her parents are lunatics.
Got her an apartment on May 15, she moved in. It was a college apartment, so she had 2 unknown roommates, her own bedroom and bath. Two weeks after she moved into that apartment, I became aware that once again, she had gotten another misdemeanor citation. She wasn't holding, but the other two girls were and they had just smoked a blunt. The officer smelled it and searched the car. Because Q2B was with them, the officer cited her too. So she now had a total of 5 misdemeanor citations since December 1, 2010.
She told me about it, how unfair it was. Right. She had been warned to not be around people with pot, drugs because of upcoming court date. No other lecture, just sorry that happened, hopefully you can get it taken care of.
Mr. Huney, The Boy, The Boy's friend and I went on vacation. We were having a great time until the third day in at 9:30 a.m., the partner in crime called me and said, "Where is Q2B, we are in court and she's not here. They just issued her a failure to appear." Q2B's story was she was sick. Right. She had a migraine. Right. She's never had migraines. Now if I had skipped court for whatever reason, I'd be sick too. She went to her pediatrician -- yes, pediatrician, because she can't keep a regular doctor, aka doctor shopping, she got a note, a prescription she couldn't afford, and a shot for muscle tension. That's what she said.
Back to court she goes last week. Her attorney managed to get all but two of the misdemeanors dismissed with the condition of supervised probation for 11 months and 29 days. Drug testing and checking in with probation officer. She wanted to argue about the sentence because she knew, as did the rest of us, she couldn't abide by the ruling for a year and most likely end up in jail.
Fast forward a week after court date and I start hearing that she is panhandling at gas stations and downtown near campus on "The Square". That broke my heart. To hear these things and even see some comments on FB about her behavior -- my daughter -- just broke my fricking heart. I confronted her and could tell by her reaction that part of the rumors were indeed true. She denied them all of course. Mr. Huney & I sat through two hours of her ranting about what terrible parents we were, all of our faults, how we made her the way she is. So much blame and denial. Then she said she was going to commit suicide. We were alarmed, but when she said, "First I want to catch up on Nurse Jackie and eat dinner," our alarm was eased somewhat.
The next day she called, still ranting and blaming and threatening suicide. I suggested she take charge of her own healing process, call a 24 hour hot line or go to the ER. It has been so hard to detach myself from her and her problems. I don't know her anymore. I love her but yet I don't feel love for her when she is high or appears high. I don't know what she is like not high anymore. We told her there was nothing else we could do for her, that it was up to her to get well.
She took action. My little Q2B is getting on a plane today and heading to Florida to attend residential drug rehab. The facility paid for her plane ticket. Florida, one of the largest pain clinic supplier states around. We insisted she sign over her car to us so we could sell it to help her with expenses. She has no concept of the financial obligations she is taking on, the school loans that will come due, court costs. And we refuse to pay for it. Will she get better or succumb? God only knows at this point. I sure don't. I want to have faith in her.
My other daughter, Queenie, thinks this is a waste of time, money and state resources. Thinks Q2B is once again manipulating the system by going out of state. Thinks the only reason Q2B wants to do this is because she has to be responsible to someone and "pee in the cup". I never thought of it from that perspective, but it is very possible. There is a lot of animosity between our daughters. Queenie has always been jealous of Q2B. They are alike, but yet different in so many ways. Queenie is an overachiever, has two degrees, married and for the most part stable. Keeps her business to herself. Q2B is not. The unspoken competition has always been a problem between them.
All of this has made me very tired. Mr. Huney looks haggard, too. The Boy is torn between anger and love for his sister. Yet life goes on.
The last time I wrote, Q2B had gone to court on one of her many misdemeanor citations. Things looked good. Then one night she brought one a "friend from rehab". We had specifically told her no friends of hers were allowed in our home. Just coming by for a minute, Mom. This is a girl she had been in outpatient with. (Q2Bnever completed outpatient, supposedly because the counselor was buying pot from a boy in her group that she counseled. This counselor took a very liberal attitude towards pot. Obviously. I tried to report it, but it's my word and Q2B's word, a drug addict, against a paid counselor.)
Mom went to bed and the next thing we know is the family is awakened at 2 a.m. to an all-out cat fight going on in Q2B's bedroom. Both girls had awakened in a drug-induced stupor, accusing the other of stealing Xanax and pot. It was too much. We kicked Q2b out. We changed the locks on our doors and she was forbidden to come inside our home. For a week she claimed to live in her car. Some of her "friends" let me know what was going on with her, and that was she was rapidly declining.
So being a good mom, and even better enabler, I arranged for her an apartment for 2.5 months. Enough time for her to get a job, start over and get back into rehab, whatever she needed to do to get clean. Keeping in mind she has misdemeanor citations over her head and if convicted of three, that's a felony. We used money that belonged to her from a car accident. And no, she didn't get addicted to opiates from an accident. She got addicted from buying them on the street and because she was/is good at manipulating doctors and convincing others that her parents are lunatics.
Got her an apartment on May 15, she moved in. It was a college apartment, so she had 2 unknown roommates, her own bedroom and bath. Two weeks after she moved into that apartment, I became aware that once again, she had gotten another misdemeanor citation. She wasn't holding, but the other two girls were and they had just smoked a blunt. The officer smelled it and searched the car. Because Q2B was with them, the officer cited her too. So she now had a total of 5 misdemeanor citations since December 1, 2010.
She told me about it, how unfair it was. Right. She had been warned to not be around people with pot, drugs because of upcoming court date. No other lecture, just sorry that happened, hopefully you can get it taken care of.
Mr. Huney, The Boy, The Boy's friend and I went on vacation. We were having a great time until the third day in at 9:30 a.m., the partner in crime called me and said, "Where is Q2B, we are in court and she's not here. They just issued her a failure to appear." Q2B's story was she was sick. Right. She had a migraine. Right. She's never had migraines. Now if I had skipped court for whatever reason, I'd be sick too. She went to her pediatrician -- yes, pediatrician, because she can't keep a regular doctor, aka doctor shopping, she got a note, a prescription she couldn't afford, and a shot for muscle tension. That's what she said.
Back to court she goes last week. Her attorney managed to get all but two of the misdemeanors dismissed with the condition of supervised probation for 11 months and 29 days. Drug testing and checking in with probation officer. She wanted to argue about the sentence because she knew, as did the rest of us, she couldn't abide by the ruling for a year and most likely end up in jail.
Fast forward a week after court date and I start hearing that she is panhandling at gas stations and downtown near campus on "The Square". That broke my heart. To hear these things and even see some comments on FB about her behavior -- my daughter -- just broke my fricking heart. I confronted her and could tell by her reaction that part of the rumors were indeed true. She denied them all of course. Mr. Huney & I sat through two hours of her ranting about what terrible parents we were, all of our faults, how we made her the way she is. So much blame and denial. Then she said she was going to commit suicide. We were alarmed, but when she said, "First I want to catch up on Nurse Jackie and eat dinner," our alarm was eased somewhat.
The next day she called, still ranting and blaming and threatening suicide. I suggested she take charge of her own healing process, call a 24 hour hot line or go to the ER. It has been so hard to detach myself from her and her problems. I don't know her anymore. I love her but yet I don't feel love for her when she is high or appears high. I don't know what she is like not high anymore. We told her there was nothing else we could do for her, that it was up to her to get well.
She took action. My little Q2B is getting on a plane today and heading to Florida to attend residential drug rehab. The facility paid for her plane ticket. Florida, one of the largest pain clinic supplier states around. We insisted she sign over her car to us so we could sell it to help her with expenses. She has no concept of the financial obligations she is taking on, the school loans that will come due, court costs. And we refuse to pay for it. Will she get better or succumb? God only knows at this point. I sure don't. I want to have faith in her.
My other daughter, Queenie, thinks this is a waste of time, money and state resources. Thinks Q2B is once again manipulating the system by going out of state. Thinks the only reason Q2B wants to do this is because she has to be responsible to someone and "pee in the cup". I never thought of it from that perspective, but it is very possible. There is a lot of animosity between our daughters. Queenie has always been jealous of Q2B. They are alike, but yet different in so many ways. Queenie is an overachiever, has two degrees, married and for the most part stable. Keeps her business to herself. Q2B is not. The unspoken competition has always been a problem between them.
All of this has made me very tired. Mr. Huney looks haggard, too. The Boy is torn between anger and love for his sister. Yet life goes on.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Update on the Queen2B and song lyrics
So my daughter goes to court this morning. Alone. For that I was proud. I wanted to go with her, just to protect her, because that's what mothers do. Most mothers do all they can to protect their children. But off she went, before the judge, and managed to discuss with the DA a judicial diversion. Most likely she will get community service, have 3 out of the 4 misdemeanors dismissed, and 11/29 on probation. Whether that will be supervised probation or not, I don't know.
After she got out of court, she called me and seemed relieved. I was relieved for her. Then she sent me a text, asking for money until she could get a job. I told her that I would help her out on one condition. Take a drug test to prove to me that she was clean. I haven't heard back from her.
But I heard this song today on my way home from my deposition. It pretty much sums up how I feel about Queen2B.
There's do'ers and don'ters and I wills and I won'ters
And them, that don't even try
There's givers and takers, movers and shakers
And them that are just passing by
Skidrows and winos and some folks that I know
That don't do like I think they should
I thought they were livin' their lives all wrong
Long, before I understood
We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road
I've had some good times and I've had a good life
And I've had things goin' my way
I've walked the high ground and treasures that I've found
An'women people who brightened my day
Then there were times I was caught in the crosswinds
With life - goin' 'round and around
Like a ship with no sail I was caught in a gale
Til I finally just ran it a-ground
We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road
After she got out of court, she called me and seemed relieved. I was relieved for her. Then she sent me a text, asking for money until she could get a job. I told her that I would help her out on one condition. Take a drug test to prove to me that she was clean. I haven't heard back from her.
But I heard this song today on my way home from my deposition. It pretty much sums up how I feel about Queen2B.
There's do'ers and don'ters and I wills and I won'ters
And them, that don't even try
There's givers and takers, movers and shakers
And them that are just passing by
Skidrows and winos and some folks that I know
That don't do like I think they should
I thought they were livin' their lives all wrong
Long, before I understood
We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road
I've had some good times and I've had a good life
And I've had things goin' my way
I've walked the high ground and treasures that I've found
An'
Then there were times I was caught in the crosswinds
With life - goin' 'round and around
Like a ship with no sail I was caught in a gale
Til I finally just ran it a-ground
We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Update Mothers & Kids
So my post today will be about kids. If that topic has no interest to you, move on now. This is a chance for you to escape!
Last post was about Q2b and it's still going to be about Q2b. Went to court with her, and the judge promptly told her that since she could afford an attorney on her other charges, she could afford to hire him on these new charges. That is not true. He's representing her on the first charges as a favor to me. He told her if she got into anymore trouble, he would not represent her on new charges. So back to court she will go on 4-16 to ask for a public defender.
She has not tried. She did not finish her rehab, never graduated. Stopped going after she had her wisdom teeth out. Insurance is billing us for $2500 for a program she did not complete. Am I pissed? Yes, I am. Am I aggravated with her? Yes, I am. Am I going to pay for the rehab? No, I am not. I had told her that her dad and I would take care of it if she got clean and graduated. She did neither.
I had set her up with an internist to get a complete exam. She goes to the doctor, seems to like her, and then I find out that the doctor has prescribed her Xanax! Personally, I think Xanax is over prescribed and is not the drug some people should be on. Q2b didn't tell me about the Xanax. I just happened to notice that she was acting a little drunk one evening and confronted her about what she was on. Denial, denial. Then I found the Xanax bottle. Script was for 30, and 20 were already gone. This was 2 days after she had them filled.
I called her doctor and passed on information that Q2b is a drug abuser and how many of the Xanax were gone. I'm sure she sold them or traded them for her drug of choice. This all makes me terribly sad.
So as kind and supportive as I could be, I informed her that she had until August to get her act together and to move out. If she is still here in August, I will just call the police and have her removed from our home. Dramatic, huh? A friend of hers got her a job at a suntan place. Good hours, good people, perks, free tanning. After she got the Xanax script filled, I don't know what happened, but within 3 days she no longer had that job. I don't know if she was stealing or what happened, because as you know, drug addicts lie. I can't believe a word she says.
It's hard for me to be around her. I try to be loving, but it's hard. For months I've tried to get her to go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. She can go through Mr. Honey's EPA program through work. Has she made an appointment? Nope. When I told her yesterday that I was afraid she would have to do jail time, she said, and I quote: "Mom, if I have to flatten it out with 30 days, so be it." Flatten it? That is jail talk for God's sake.
Haven't decided if I will go back to court with her on the 14th or not. Obviously she is going to do what she wants to do and doesn't listen to reason. You cannot help someone who won't help themselves. Yet I love her and in some ways feel sorry for her. Sorry for her because she's done some stupid things and she knows better. My lawyer friend did get word to the judge that her mother wanted her to realize this is a serious situation she is in.
And if it's not one thing, it's your Mother. My mother is 86 years old and fell about 3 weeks ago and broke her hip. She is now in a rehab facility and is meaner than a snake. You see, she too is hooked on her pain pills. At her age! This woman is legally blind, yet lives alone. Family drops by every day to check on her and take her food. The morning that she fell she had taken too many Phenegren. That's for nausea, but she was taking them to help her sleep. On top of Hydrocodone and Tylenol.
I don't live in the same town as my mother, so I try to go down once a month at least to visit with her. I'll be going this weekend to relieve my sisters and give them the weekend off. Mother gets lonely on the weekends.
My life with her is for another day.
Last post was about Q2b and it's still going to be about Q2b. Went to court with her, and the judge promptly told her that since she could afford an attorney on her other charges, she could afford to hire him on these new charges. That is not true. He's representing her on the first charges as a favor to me. He told her if she got into anymore trouble, he would not represent her on new charges. So back to court she will go on 4-16 to ask for a public defender.
She has not tried. She did not finish her rehab, never graduated. Stopped going after she had her wisdom teeth out. Insurance is billing us for $2500 for a program she did not complete. Am I pissed? Yes, I am. Am I aggravated with her? Yes, I am. Am I going to pay for the rehab? No, I am not. I had told her that her dad and I would take care of it if she got clean and graduated. She did neither.
I had set her up with an internist to get a complete exam. She goes to the doctor, seems to like her, and then I find out that the doctor has prescribed her Xanax! Personally, I think Xanax is over prescribed and is not the drug some people should be on. Q2b didn't tell me about the Xanax. I just happened to notice that she was acting a little drunk one evening and confronted her about what she was on. Denial, denial. Then I found the Xanax bottle. Script was for 30, and 20 were already gone. This was 2 days after she had them filled.
I called her doctor and passed on information that Q2b is a drug abuser and how many of the Xanax were gone. I'm sure she sold them or traded them for her drug of choice. This all makes me terribly sad.
So as kind and supportive as I could be, I informed her that she had until August to get her act together and to move out. If she is still here in August, I will just call the police and have her removed from our home. Dramatic, huh? A friend of hers got her a job at a suntan place. Good hours, good people, perks, free tanning. After she got the Xanax script filled, I don't know what happened, but within 3 days she no longer had that job. I don't know if she was stealing or what happened, because as you know, drug addicts lie. I can't believe a word she says.
It's hard for me to be around her. I try to be loving, but it's hard. For months I've tried to get her to go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist. She can go through Mr. Honey's EPA program through work. Has she made an appointment? Nope. When I told her yesterday that I was afraid she would have to do jail time, she said, and I quote: "Mom, if I have to flatten it out with 30 days, so be it." Flatten it? That is jail talk for God's sake.
Haven't decided if I will go back to court with her on the 14th or not. Obviously she is going to do what she wants to do and doesn't listen to reason. You cannot help someone who won't help themselves. Yet I love her and in some ways feel sorry for her. Sorry for her because she's done some stupid things and she knows better. My lawyer friend did get word to the judge that her mother wanted her to realize this is a serious situation she is in.
And if it's not one thing, it's your Mother. My mother is 86 years old and fell about 3 weeks ago and broke her hip. She is now in a rehab facility and is meaner than a snake. You see, she too is hooked on her pain pills. At her age! This woman is legally blind, yet lives alone. Family drops by every day to check on her and take her food. The morning that she fell she had taken too many Phenegren. That's for nausea, but she was taking them to help her sleep. On top of Hydrocodone and Tylenol.
I don't live in the same town as my mother, so I try to go down once a month at least to visit with her. I'll be going this weekend to relieve my sisters and give them the weekend off. Mother gets lonely on the weekends.
My life with her is for another day.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Queen to Be had to have her wisdom teeth taken out. They broke through the skin in two day's time. I was out of town working for an egotistical attorney -- who managed to get on my last nerve. So, Queenie helped us out and took Q2B to the oral surgeon. 4 teeth at once, sedation, and pain pills. Percocet aka Oxydodone. Not Oxycontin, which is her drug of choice. Mr. Honey was home early and he had a good day with the three of them.
I, on the other hand, was glad I was out of town and that Mr. Honey had to deal with all the stuff I normally do. Makes him appreciate me more. In case you missed the solitary tweet, Q2B was cited again two weeks ago for possession of weed and a pipe. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. She was riding dirty on the passenger side. Driver was stopped for no tail light, and cops did a dog search of car. Found small amount of weed and a big ass pipe in her purse. Stupid. Stupid. Driver was not holding. Her attorney warned her that if she got into more trouble, he would not represent her. So back to court on Monday for her and she will ask for a public defender. I can't help her with that. She's well aware that she could be put on supervised probation and serve some jail time if she violates probation. And now, she is legitimately taking pain pills because she is in so much pain.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Deposition Tips for Attorneys
Today I am going to write about tips for attorneys when taking depositions. I have been a court reporter for 29 years, starting out as a typist for reporters. Yes, back when erasers were used and carbon sets and actual typewriters.
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| IBM SELECTRIC |
1. Take business cards with you. Court reporters need your business card and information, along with an email address.
2. Introduce yourself to the court reporter. We may be the silent person in the room, but we do like to know that you know we're there. Ask if the reporter has the style of the case or a notice. Offer up unusual spellings or proper names.
3. Prepare your deposition questions ahead of time. I know it's got to be hard to know which questions you need to ask, and it's not unusual to forget a few questions. It's okay to come in with a list of your questions. Personally, if I see an attorney with 15 pages of questions, I know we are going to be there for a while and that's okay. That attorney is prepared and it pays to be methodical.
4. Ask your questions slowly, directly and loud enough for everyone to hear you, especially the court reporter and the witness. An attorney who spits out questions just encourages the witness to speak fast and butt in. Keep it smooth.
5. If you MUST read from a document, please read slowly. Imagine being in a race where you are moving along at a comfortable pace, keeping up with everyone around you, then all of a sudden those around you are speeding up and leaving you behind. It's hard to get to the finish line when you're left at the gate.
Plus, the witness can't keep up with you if you're reading from a document at a fast rate.
Most likely, the witness will say: What, I don't understand, say that again, or I don't know what you mean. Then opposing counsel wakes up and objects. Time wasted.
6. I, for one, love it when an attorney marks their own exhibits. Some attorney says, Mark this as Exhibit so-and-so, and hands it to the reporter. The reporter stops to mark it, and said attorney just keeps right on asking another question. Hello? I have only two hands. Marking your own exhibits gives you and the witness a second of downtime to think about the exhibit about to be shown.
A-n-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-i-o-n. I bet you will notice that the court reporter will smile and appreciate the lull.
7. If you're going to be at the deposition for a while, take a break at least every hour to hour and a half. That will give you time to think about other questions you may want to ask. You can always ask the reporter to read back something to you during a break if you need clarification. And, the reporter is probably in need of a stretch break, too.
That's all of my tips for today. Transcripts await editing!
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