Oh to be Queen

Queen-to-be turns 21 on Monday.  Mr. Honey & I have suspected drug use from her for quite some time.  Thought it was just weed, so we sort of looked the other way.  Don't most kids try weed between 18 and 21?   Lately though, we've had items missing from our home.  One of my wedding rings with a diamond missing, Mr. Honey's circular saw, a camcorder, portable DVD player, a lottery ticket worth $50.00.  Money.   On Thanksgiving she came into my room while I was sleeping and took my debit card.  Tried to use it, but luckily she didn't know the PIN number, so the account was blocked.  My friend at the bank sent me the pictures of her at the ATM.  That was a sad sight to see.


I normally don't snoop in my kids' rooms.  Never have.  But I had a feeling, so yesterday I snooped in Queen-to-be's room.  Here's what I found:  Receipts from a pawn shop for a camcorder, portable DVD player, a camera (that was given to her at Christmas), a needle, a tourniquet, a pipe, bent spoons with residue and a citation for a misdemeanor for possible drug paraphernalia.  Finding the evidence just floored me.  I literally sat down on the floor.  

Apparently she was stopped by the police on NYE.   Don't know what probable cause he had, but I am guessing he searched her and her car and found a pipe.  She won't give me the details.  She has no idea what this can mean for her.  If she is convicted, there goes her chances of finding a good/decent job as a pharmacy tech, and maybe as a medical assistant.  I know and work with criminal lawyers, but will be damned if I pay for her an attorney.  The ones I know aren't cheap.  I could go and speak with the DA but don't know if I should.  She has to learn a lesson here.   First charge, so I am guessing she would get probation and a drug diversion program and possible expungement down the road.

My heart is broken.  Mr. Honey thinks we should just kick her to the curb.  This isn't the first incident we've had with her.  She got in with the wrong crowd in high school and ended up dropping out her senior year.  Got her GED.  Went on vacation about four years ago and she and her friend were caught shoplifting at WalMart.  Security let them go because we were tourists.  Went through counseling and thought things were better.  She picks losers as guys to date.  Prefers black men.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  I don't care what color a person's skin is, just have a goal and a job.  And by job, I don't mean dealing pot, which it seems is the job of choice for most of these guys.
When she was 15, she took the car out and totaled it and spent a week in the hospital.  

So Mr. Honey & I confronted her today and gave her a choice to voluntarily go into rehab on Monday or move out.  With a bit of arguing, she conceded to go to rehab.  It will be outpatient.  I don't have a lot of faith.  Most drug users going into rehab have an average of three times in rehab before it takes.  We aren't rich and this is going to cost us dearly in emotions and money.


Mr. Honey wants to blame me for her problems because I enable.  Yes, I confess, I have enabled her, looked the other way at times and tried to believe her when she has lied to my face.  That's a mother for you.  Mr. Honey has enabled her, too, but in different ways.


Makes me very sad about all of this and sad for her that she is on the verge of throwing her life away.  Guess we'll see what happens with rehab.  At least they will drug test her two times a week.  I'm sure she is smart enough to know how to skew the drug test.   


Wish us luck and prayers.