Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Update Mothers & Kids

So my post today will be about kids.  If that topic has no interest  to you, move on now.  This is a chance for you to escape!

Last post was about Q2b and it's still going to be about Q2b.  Went to court with her, and the judge promptly told her that since she could afford an attorney on her other charges, she could afford to hire him on these new charges.  That is not true.  He's representing her on the first charges as a favor to me.  He told her if she got into anymore trouble, he would not represent her on new charges.  So back to court she will go on 4-16 to ask for a public defender.  
She has not tried.  She did not finish her rehab, never graduated.  Stopped going after she had her wisdom teeth out.  Insurance is billing us for $2500 for a program she did not complete.  Am I pissed?  Yes, I am.  Am I aggravated with her?  Yes, I am.  Am I going to pay for the rehab?  No, I am not.  I had told her that her dad and I would take care of it if she got clean and graduated.  She did neither.  

I had set her up with an internist to get a complete exam.  She goes to the doctor, seems to like her, and then I find out that the doctor has prescribed her Xanax!  Personally, I think Xanax is over prescribed and is not the drug some people should be on.  Q2b didn't tell me about the Xanax.  I just happened to notice that she was acting a little drunk one evening and confronted her about what she was on.  Denial, denial.  Then I found the Xanax bottle.  Script was for 30, and 20 were already gone.  This was 2 days after she had them filled.
I called her doctor and passed on information that Q2b is a drug abuser and how many of the Xanax were gone.  I'm sure she sold them or traded them for her drug of choice.  This all makes me terribly sad.  


So as kind and supportive as I could be, I informed her that she had until August to get her act together and to move out.  If she is still here in August, I will just call the police and have her removed from our home.  Dramatic, huh?  A friend of hers got her a job at a suntan place.  Good hours, good people, perks, free tanning.  After she got the Xanax script filled, I don't know what happened, but within 3 days she no longer had that job.  I don't know if she was stealing or what happened, because as you know, drug addicts lie.  I can't believe a word she says.


It's hard for me to be around her.  I try to be loving, but it's hard.  For months I've tried to get her to go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.  She can go through Mr. Honey's EPA program through work.  Has she made an appointment?  Nope.  When I told her yesterday that I was afraid she would have to do jail time, she said, and I quote:  "Mom, if I have to flatten it out with 30 days, so be it."  Flatten it?  That is jail talk for God's sake.


Haven't decided if I will go back to court with her on the 14th or not.  Obviously she is going to do what she wants to do and doesn't listen to reason.  You cannot help someone who won't help themselves.  Yet I love her and in some ways feel sorry for her.  Sorry for her because she's done some stupid things and she knows better.  My lawyer friend did get word to the judge that her mother wanted her to realize this is a serious situation she is in.  


And if it's not one thing, it's your Mother.  My mother is 86 years old and fell about 3 weeks ago and broke her hip.  She is now in a rehab facility and is meaner than a snake.  You see, she too is hooked on her pain pills.  At her age!  This woman is legally blind, yet lives alone.  Family drops by every day to check on her and take her food.  The morning that she fell she had taken too many Phenegren.  That's for nausea, but she was taking them to help her sleep.  On top of Hydrocodone and Tylenol.  


I don't live in the same town as my mother, so I try to go down once a month at least to visit with her.  I'll be going this weekend to relieve my sisters and give them the weekend off.  Mother gets lonely on the weekends.
My life with her is for another day.





4 comments:

  1. How heartbreaking to watch your daughter deal with addiction - especially when you know the mentality. I hope she is able to get herself together before she hits bottom. :(

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  2. I'm so sorry about this. I hope that your daughter can figure out what she is doing to herself and her family and straighten herself out. I hope this for both you and her.

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  3. Wow...I can't imagine the anxiety and stress this all must cause you. I'm glad you're writing it out - it really does help to have someplace to let it all out and know that people are listening.

    I wish the best for your daughter and hope that your mother recovers.

    best,
    RandomEsq

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  4. You're doing the right thing. You're there for here but aren't enabling. I hope things work out for the best. *hugs*

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