So, my daughter, the addict has been back in rehab due to a relapse. (See previous post) She spent 2 weeks in inpatient, then was moved to partial hospitalization. When she first started, the therapist was singing her praises, that she was doing great in her groups and being a leader, positive attitude and helping others.
Then the last two weeks all she has done is complain about being there. Doesn't think she needs to remain there and wants to go back into a halfway house. Get a call from the therapist yesterday that she is now being disruptive, skipping groups, trying to encourage others to skip group.
An hour later we get a call that she has gone AWOL from the facility. Left with a guy who is also in treatment for drugs. She left the facility at 12 and returned at 5. I'm sure the only reason she returned was to collect her belongings. She told one of the techs that she and this guy had been drinking. They did a breathalyzer on her and she blew a .55. That's pretty high, so I am told. They tried to do an intervention, but she was adamant that she didn't want to stay there.
We've told her as long as she is in treatment and doing well, we would support her and help her out money-wise to a degree. Then we get another call from her case manager yesterday (after she blew the .55 and refused intervention) who says they can't keep her there, too disruptive, and they will be working on her discharge today.
Where will she go? I don't know. Her dad and I had told her that if she completed treatment we'd get her into yet another halfway house. But with this incident yesterday of going out and getting drunk, there's no way we can help her with money. We have no faith in her, no trust. And sad as it seems, we do not want her to come home and live with us. We don't want her addiction around us. At this point that pretty much leaves only a homeless shelter. Do any of you reading this know how hard it is to let your kid go to a homeless shelter? SO HARD TO EVEN CONSIDER. Yet, that is what I am dealing with this morning, and the same thoughts that woke me up 3 times last night.
I'm scared for her and my heart is beyond breaking. I've detached with love, but a mother's worry never stops. I did read an excellent book last week. It's called The Lost Years. A book about a mother and daughter's experience with addition, detachment and recovery. I highly recommend it to anyone who has an addict in the family.
I'm dreading that call today to set up her discharge and telling her that we can no longer help her. I may waver and give in. I don't know what I am going to say and do at this very moment.
I wish I could give you a real-life hug. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteWow...so sorry to hear about this. My parents are going through something similar with my second oldest brother. At 43 he decided to finally move out of my parents house to live with a 26 year old heroine addict. She is basically with him so she has drug money and a place to sleep. He was fire from his job (great job that he'd kept longer than all his other jobs) a few weeks ago. My parents want nothing to do with him particularly since he tried to recruit various members of our family to be drug mules and/or give him transportation to beat up people who hadn't paid for the drugs he was selling... Even though they know letting him come home could be deadly (who knows what kind of people he's been dealing with), they are sick at heart and struggle every day with the fact that he will be evicted and who knows where he'll live with no money and no job (he's still with this heroine addict). They are retired, living on a fixed income and can't afford to take these kinds of risks with him anymore. It's sad and horrendous for them. I'm sorry you are in a similar situation with your daughter. My heart goes out to you!
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