Update. Not surprising.

So, my daughter, the addict has been back in rehab due to a relapse.  (See previous post)  She spent 2 weeks in inpatient, then was moved to partial hospitalization.  When she first started, the therapist was singing her praises, that she was doing great in her groups and being a leader, positive attitude and helping others.  

Then the last two weeks all she has done is complain about being there.  Doesn't think she needs to remain there and wants to go back into a halfway house.  Get a call from the therapist yesterday that she is now being disruptive, skipping groups, trying to encourage others to skip group.  
An hour later we get a call that she has gone AWOL from the facility.  Left with a guy who is also in treatment for drugs.  She left the facility at 12 and returned at 5.  I'm sure the only reason she returned was to collect her belongings.  She told one of the techs that she and this guy had been drinking.  They did a breathalyzer on her and she blew a .55.  That's pretty high, so I am told.  They tried to do an intervention, but she was adamant that she didn't want to stay there.

We've told her as long as she is in treatment and doing well, we would support her and help her out money-wise to a degree. Then we get another call from her case manager yesterday (after she blew the .55 and refused intervention) who says they can't keep her there, too disruptive, and they will be working on her discharge today.  

Where will she go?  I don't know.  Her dad and I had told her that if she completed treatment we'd get her into yet another halfway house.  But with this incident yesterday of going out and getting drunk, there's no way we can help her with money.  We have no faith in her, no trust.  And sad as it seems, we do not want her to come home and live with us.  We don't want her addiction around us.  At this point that pretty much leaves only a homeless shelter.  Do any of you reading this know how hard it is to let your kid go to a homeless shelter?  SO HARD TO EVEN CONSIDER.  Yet, that is what I am dealing with this morning, and the same thoughts that woke me up 3 times last night.  


I'm scared for her and my heart is beyond breaking.  I've detached with love, but a mother's worry never stops.  I did read an excellent book last week.  It's called The Lost Years.  A book about a mother and daughter's experience with addition, detachment and recovery.  I highly recommend it to anyone who has an addict in the family.

http://thelostyearsbook.com/  

I'm dreading that call today to set up her discharge and telling her that we can no longer help her.  I may waver and give in.  I don't know what I am going to say and do at this very moment.

It's been a while

It's been a while.  So much has been going on with Queen2B.  To sum it up, she completed her treatment in rehab, went on to live in a sober living facility.  Sadly, she relapsed three weeks after moving into sober living facility.  (SLF)  She had a really bad relapse, one week on the street with a fellow user, that she met in rehab, then into a detox for a week, kicked out of there for having drugs on her, back on the street for a week.

At that point, calling and asking for more money.  (When she started asking us to send her money Western Union, we had a clue she was using).  As hard as it was, I had to tell her not to contact me again until she got back into treatment.  Two days went by and she called and agreed to go back into inpatient rehab.  I made arrangements for her to get a ride.  Ironically, the treatment center sent a limo to pick her up from the crack house she was staying in.  I don't know that it was a "crack house", but a hotel where a lot of users rent for cheap.  

In July Queenie & I went to visit her in rehab and we did an intensive family therapy weekend.  I learned a lot about letting go and to stop trying to help her.  I've been doing really well with that, but it is sad at the same time as it is freeing.  

I've been so wrapped up with Q2B and her problems, I haven't mentioned that I will be having hand surgery in November.  I have some crazy ass disease called Kienbock's.  The bone in my right wrist has deteriorated.  The surgery is a proximal row carpectomy.  Yes there is a video of the surgery on YouTube, and it's nasty looking.  Not a good problem for a court reporter to have.

But the surgeon assures me I can go back to work.  I guess that's good and bad :)  I'm so ready to retire from this job.

The Boy got his driver's license.  He's pretty much taken over my car.  We plan to give it to him, just putting off getting something new for myself.  Now with the surgery, it might be a little longer than anticipated.  Not sure what I want.  Another Honda?  Suggestions?  For business purposes, I think I am going to go for a lease this time around.

Thanks for checking in.