Thursday, April 14, 2011

Update on the Queen2B and song lyrics

So my daughter goes to court this morning.  Alone.  For that I was proud.  I wanted to go with her, just to protect her, because that's what mothers do.  Most mothers do all they can to protect their children.  But off she went, before the judge, and managed to discuss with the DA a judicial diversion.  Most likely she will get community service, have 3 out of the 4 misdemeanors dismissed, and 11/29 on probation.  Whether that will be supervised probation or not, I don't know.   
After she got out of court, she called me and seemed relieved.  I was relieved for her.  Then she sent me a text, asking for money until she could get a job.  I told her that I would help her out on one condition.  Take a drug test to prove to me that she was clean.   I haven't heard back from her.

But I heard this song today on my way home from my deposition.  It pretty much sums up how I feel about Queen2B. 

There's do'ers and don'ters and I wills and I won'ters
And them, that don't even try
There's givers and takers, movers and shakers
And them that are just passing by

Skidrows and winos and some folks that I know
That don't do like I think they should
I thought they were livin' their lives all wrong
Long, before I understood

We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road


I've had some good times and I've had a good life
And I've had things goin' my way
I've walked the high ground and treasures that I've found
An' women people who brightened my day

Then there were times I was caught in the crosswinds
With life - goin' 'round and around
Like a ship with no sail I was caught in a gale
Til I finally just ran it a-ground

We all have to walk our own road
We can't always go where we're told
In the end where it'll end up - the Lord only knows
But we all have to walk our own road

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Update Mothers & Kids

So my post today will be about kids.  If that topic has no interest  to you, move on now.  This is a chance for you to escape!

Last post was about Q2b and it's still going to be about Q2b.  Went to court with her, and the judge promptly told her that since she could afford an attorney on her other charges, she could afford to hire him on these new charges.  That is not true.  He's representing her on the first charges as a favor to me.  He told her if she got into anymore trouble, he would not represent her on new charges.  So back to court she will go on 4-16 to ask for a public defender.  
She has not tried.  She did not finish her rehab, never graduated.  Stopped going after she had her wisdom teeth out.  Insurance is billing us for $2500 for a program she did not complete.  Am I pissed?  Yes, I am.  Am I aggravated with her?  Yes, I am.  Am I going to pay for the rehab?  No, I am not.  I had told her that her dad and I would take care of it if she got clean and graduated.  She did neither.  

I had set her up with an internist to get a complete exam.  She goes to the doctor, seems to like her, and then I find out that the doctor has prescribed her Xanax!  Personally, I think Xanax is over prescribed and is not the drug some people should be on.  Q2b didn't tell me about the Xanax.  I just happened to notice that she was acting a little drunk one evening and confronted her about what she was on.  Denial, denial.  Then I found the Xanax bottle.  Script was for 30, and 20 were already gone.  This was 2 days after she had them filled.
I called her doctor and passed on information that Q2b is a drug abuser and how many of the Xanax were gone.  I'm sure she sold them or traded them for her drug of choice.  This all makes me terribly sad.  


So as kind and supportive as I could be, I informed her that she had until August to get her act together and to move out.  If she is still here in August, I will just call the police and have her removed from our home.  Dramatic, huh?  A friend of hers got her a job at a suntan place.  Good hours, good people, perks, free tanning.  After she got the Xanax script filled, I don't know what happened, but within 3 days she no longer had that job.  I don't know if she was stealing or what happened, because as you know, drug addicts lie.  I can't believe a word she says.


It's hard for me to be around her.  I try to be loving, but it's hard.  For months I've tried to get her to go see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.  She can go through Mr. Honey's EPA program through work.  Has she made an appointment?  Nope.  When I told her yesterday that I was afraid she would have to do jail time, she said, and I quote:  "Mom, if I have to flatten it out with 30 days, so be it."  Flatten it?  That is jail talk for God's sake.


Haven't decided if I will go back to court with her on the 14th or not.  Obviously she is going to do what she wants to do and doesn't listen to reason.  You cannot help someone who won't help themselves.  Yet I love her and in some ways feel sorry for her.  Sorry for her because she's done some stupid things and she knows better.  My lawyer friend did get word to the judge that her mother wanted her to realize this is a serious situation she is in.  


And if it's not one thing, it's your Mother.  My mother is 86 years old and fell about 3 weeks ago and broke her hip.  She is now in a rehab facility and is meaner than a snake.  You see, she too is hooked on her pain pills.  At her age!  This woman is legally blind, yet lives alone.  Family drops by every day to check on her and take her food.  The morning that she fell she had taken too many Phenegren.  That's for nausea, but she was taking them to help her sleep.  On top of Hydrocodone and Tylenol.  


I don't live in the same town as my mother, so I try to go down once a month at least to visit with her.  I'll be going this weekend to relieve my sisters and give them the weekend off.  Mother gets lonely on the weekends.
My life with her is for another day.